Meowing at Birds

I'm pretty sure that I don't need to explain to you why we don't meow at birds through a window. It should be obvious how goddamn stupid that is to anyone who isn't a fucking cat, so instead of wasting my time with that, I'll present you with a short play entitled "Cat Talks to Bird Through Window."
The sun is just rising, and with it, so are the birds. But the humans sleep peacefully because they don't give a shit about birds and sun and because they have to work all fucking day, goddamnit. The cat, who never ever works (ever), leaps to the window and starts meowing at full volume, waking the sleeping humans.
Cat: I'm going to eat you, bird.
Bird: No, you aren't. There's a window between us. I win, you lose.
Cat: Someday there wont be a window, and that's the day I'll fuck you up, you annoying little bird.
Bird: Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I still win now. Birds rule!
Cats: Aaaaahhhhhhh I hate birds! Hate them, hate them, hate them, hate them!
Humans add a shot of esspresso to their coffee that morning, while staring menacingly at the cat. End Scene.
(flickr photo My cat shadow...... by chaffeerobyn; http://www.flickr.com/photos/10165172@N04/858461173/)

Another Link - No HR 669

I know, I know, I'm terrible. Another link. What an asshole. Last one, then back to normal.
So there's a bill before congress (voted on tomorrow) to essentially ban all non-US-native pets. This includes almost all fish, most reptiles and amphibians, most birds, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, and ferrets. The ban could screw a lot of pet owners and a lot of pet shops (not to mention this blog which would have a significantly reduced pet population to choose from). So you know, if you feel strongly enough, go here and send an email or letter or make a call. It took me less than two minutes to send an email.
Thanks for putting up with my linking and my lack of Things Pets Do. Back to normal soon.

Flying Animals and Rehomed Dogs

Today's post is doubly terrible. Not only have I not posted in a while, but this is a post of links and not things that pets do. I know, I suck. Feel free to egg my house later.
First, you can now fly your pets without having to stash them in the underbelly of a plane, which is nice, since although my dogs and cats are often mistaken for suitcases (except they're not), I'd like to not keep them in the same place people put their clothing and curling irons. Just a thought. Also, while you're at the site, be sure to check the video posted in their blog on April 20th, because the male newscaster is the epitome of douche bag. This guy has it down to a science. He might want to see if Harvard will give him an honorary degree in douche baggery.
Second, tonight ESPN will have a special on what happened to Michael Vick's rehabilitated and rehoused dogs. As someone who has a loving pit bull rescued from a less than ideal situation, I feel it's my duty to promote a TV special on loving pit bulls rescued from less than ideal situations. It's also my duty to give the obligatory fuck you Michael Vick for being an astoundingly horrible human being comment. He's way worse than that dumbass newscaster. Infinitely worse.
I promise I'll be back soon with more Things Pets Do.

Flying

I'm so happy for you birds. I really am. It must be super sweet to fly around everywhere. Like, it must be the best. Just the best. And I'm not even a little envious.
You know why flying is awesome, birds? Because it's flying. Well, clearly you already know that, because you do it all the time. I'm sure you could give me more reasons it's awesome. I only know of that one, you know, because I can't fucking fly, goddamnit. I swear I'm not envious.
I guess that's the trade off of living the pampered life of a pet bird: free food and water always but limited flying. Lame.
(flickr photo Leaving by zimpenfish; http://www.flickr.com/photos/zimpenfish/2037655993/)

Website Recommendation

I try to do this whole "break from the normal routine" thing as infrequently as possible, but I just found a really sweet website that's appropriate for this blog.
Right Pet is a website in which members (it's free) can write reviews on types of pets they've owned. The reviewer gets to do a pet owner's favorite thing to do: talk about their pets. And the reader gets a first hand account of whether or not that pet might be good choice for them.
And if that doesn't float your boat, first, why are you reading this on a boat, and second, try this: If someone reviews a husky, can you talk about how they're better at singing than famous pop stars?
Thanks for putting up with my atypical post. On Monday I'll be back to the usual.