When dogs and cats (and a good number of small animals) eat, instead of pulling out the old silverware their grandma gave them and a couple snazzy blue napkins, they just shove their face into a bowl filled with all the same shit, and chomp it down like they're three-time pie eating champions in the Kansas State Fair. I mean, seriously guys, couldn't you use your paws like a civilized creature? It doesn't take that much effort, and it really makes a big difference in how people view you. Do you honestly think I'm ever going to take you to a fancy restaurant with those eating habits? Put you're tuxedo back in the closet, because the answer is no. And you look silly in a tuxedo anyway. It makes your tail look fat.Next Thanksgiving I'm going to try eating like this as an experiment. My hypothesis is that it takes less than 30 seconds for my Uncle to crack me in the ribcage for being a douche.
(flickr photo Mao is eating by stickwithjosh; http://www.flickr.com/photos/stickwithjosh/2549333638/)
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