Meowing at Birds

I'm pretty sure that I don't need to explain to you why we don't meow at birds through a window. It should be obvious how goddamn stupid that is to anyone who isn't a fucking cat, so instead of wasting my time with that, I'll present you with a short play entitled "Cat Talks to Bird Through Window."
The sun is just rising, and with it, so are the birds. But the humans sleep peacefully because they don't give a shit about birds and sun and because they have to work all fucking day, goddamnit. The cat, who never ever works (ever), leaps to the window and starts meowing at full volume, waking the sleeping humans.
Cat: I'm going to eat you, bird.
Bird: No, you aren't. There's a window between us. I win, you lose.
Cat: Someday there wont be a window, and that's the day I'll fuck you up, you annoying little bird.
Bird: Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I still win now. Birds rule!
Cats: Aaaaahhhhhhh I hate birds! Hate them, hate them, hate them, hate them!
Humans add a shot of esspresso to their coffee that morning, while staring menacingly at the cat. End Scene.
(flickr photo My cat shadow...... by chaffeerobyn; http://www.flickr.com/photos/10165172@N04/858461173/)

Staring Out the Window

What is it with cats and windows? Honestly, there can't be that much cool shit going on outside. If there were, I wouldn't have bought a TV. But still, like an idiot with amnesia, they fool me every time. "Ohhhh, the cat's at the window, there must be something really sweet going on outside, I better go look." But no, cat, you're staring at nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it fascinates you.
And you know what the real burn is here? Even if I wanted to sit at the window and stare out it all day like a cat, there's no way I could conveniently perch myself on the window sill like they do. I'm not that small and my windows aren't that big. Well, I'm glad that windows are such a perfect fit for you cats. I'm not jealous. Not even a little bit.
(flickr photo Alex by the window by Richard Cocks; http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardland/279081793/)