Another Link - No HR 669

I know, I know, I'm terrible. Another link. What an asshole. Last one, then back to normal.
So there's a bill before congress (voted on tomorrow) to essentially ban all non-US-native pets. This includes almost all fish, most reptiles and amphibians, most birds, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, and ferrets. The ban could screw a lot of pet owners and a lot of pet shops (not to mention this blog which would have a significantly reduced pet population to choose from). So you know, if you feel strongly enough, go here and send an email or letter or make a call. It took me less than two minutes to send an email.
Thanks for putting up with my linking and my lack of Things Pets Do. Back to normal soon.

Flying Animals and Rehomed Dogs

Today's post is doubly terrible. Not only have I not posted in a while, but this is a post of links and not things that pets do. I know, I suck. Feel free to egg my house later.
First, you can now fly your pets without having to stash them in the underbelly of a plane, which is nice, since although my dogs and cats are often mistaken for suitcases (except they're not), I'd like to not keep them in the same place people put their clothing and curling irons. Just a thought. Also, while you're at the site, be sure to check the video posted in their blog on April 20th, because the male newscaster is the epitome of douche bag. This guy has it down to a science. He might want to see if Harvard will give him an honorary degree in douche baggery.
Second, tonight ESPN will have a special on what happened to Michael Vick's rehabilitated and rehoused dogs. As someone who has a loving pit bull rescued from a less than ideal situation, I feel it's my duty to promote a TV special on loving pit bulls rescued from less than ideal situations. It's also my duty to give the obligatory fuck you Michael Vick for being an astoundingly horrible human being comment. He's way worse than that dumbass newscaster. Infinitely worse.
I promise I'll be back soon with more Things Pets Do.

Regrowing A Tail

There are certain animal skills that I can let slide. You know, give the old, "wow, I'm so impressed. Thanks for showing me that, animal" line and get back to my taco salad (extra taco, hold the salad). But tail regeneration is just too fucking much. Honestly, these lizards can have a part of their body ripped off and then miraculously grow it back, and they act like it isn't a big deal. Well it is. It's a goddamn huge deal. Most pets are just happy having tails, but lizards take their pet awesomeness one step higher with tail regrowth.
But not only can we humans not grow our tails back, we don't even have tails. Well, at least we can regulate our body temperature.
(flickr photo Lizard-best by aussiegall; http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/293621164/)

Shedding Skin

Shedding skin? Seriously, snakes and lizards? That's so badass. On a scale of lame to badass, that's super badass. I want to scold you for being the living metaphor of change, but that doesn't deserve scolding, it deserves congratulations.
And as much as humans might want to slither into a new body each month, we can't. That is unless you have really dry skin and the weather's awful, and you don't use lotion, then maybe you can. But on a more serious note, shedding looks very tiresome and painful, two adjectives that a majority of humans are opposed to, and so, you regal reptilians shall continue to reign supreme when it comes to leaving old skin behind you.
(flickr photo Snake skin by KiloEchoRomeoIndia; http://www.flickr.com/photos/panzer73/2892144377/)

Website Recommendation

I try to do this whole "break from the normal routine" thing as infrequently as possible, but I just found a really sweet website that's appropriate for this blog.
Right Pet is a website in which members (it's free) can write reviews on types of pets they've owned. The reviewer gets to do a pet owner's favorite thing to do: talk about their pets. And the reader gets a first hand account of whether or not that pet might be good choice for them.
And if that doesn't float your boat, first, why are you reading this on a boat, and second, try this: If someone reviews a husky, can you talk about how they're better at singing than famous pop stars?
Thanks for putting up with my atypical post. On Monday I'll be back to the usual.

Not Regulating Body Temperature

This one is clearly reserved for the reptilian, amphibian, and fishy pets, for whom cold-blooded isn't just a way to describe your ex, but also a physical condition. Any pet owner who's ever bought a heat lamp or a heating pad knows how little control geckos, snakes, turtles, frogs, toads, and fish have over their body's temperature.
Why? Because they're lazy, lazy, lazy ectotherms. You know, when I was kid, lizards would walk twenty miles in the snow everyday just to get a heat lamp, and the heat lamp would only be 20 watts, but they made due with what they had. Nowadays these spoiled brats expect us to wait on them hand and foot. "Um, excuse me, but I'd like the lamp to be 80 watts, not 40. Otherwise I get lethargic and my body processes slow down significantly and it's bad for my health and it's possible I could die." Well, lizard, maybe you should thought of that before you became cold blooded. The rest of us are warm blooded and it's pretty damn sweet.
(flickr photo Green Gecko by dominigs81; http://www.flickr.com/photos/dominiqs/1349256667/)

My Pet Credentials

I'm going to break from listing the things that pets do for just one post to address a question.
On yesterday's post, Patty asked,"What kind of pets do you have?"
Since I write a blog entitled, "The Things Pets Do" it's only fair that my readers know what my pet resume looks like. Thus instead of posting a brief comment in reply, I've made a full post out of it.
I have my interview tie and suit on, and I'm freshly shaven (and by that I mean I'm sitting in sweat pants with day-old stubble). Here goes.
Current Pets:
I live with my girlfriend while she attends vet school and I work a fairly standard office job. We share our living space with an adopted pit bull mix (which is shelter talk for, "He's really a pit bull, but we have to add 'mix' to his title so people will adopt him, because even though he's a big snuggling goof, there's an a certain stigma that will always go with the title 'pit bull'") named Barney.


We also share the space with two adopted cats: a short haired ginger cat (Frank) and a long-haired tuxedo cat (Oz).




And in a separate room, into which the cats may never venture, there are two pet rats (Maria and Serafina) and a patternless leopard gecko (Kaylee).











Past Pets: I grew up in a pet-obsessed family, so my first 18 years of life were also filled with pets. We always had a dog (a collie that raised me, and when he passed due to debilitating hip arthritis, an Australian shepherd/black lab mix and a Jack Russell Terrier). I have three sisters, each of whom had pets growing up: an aquarium with tropical fish, two pet mice, a box turtle, and two toads. Not one to slack in the pet department either, I had a bearded dragon, a corn snake, a skink, and two hognose snakes.
Finally, I worked in a pet shop throughout high school.
Really, the only time I have been sans pets were the first two years of college.
Do I have the job?

Insect Eating

Dogs and cats will occasionally swipe a fly out of the air, but if you have any pet lizards or frogs, you know they eat insects all the goddamn time. They eat insects for every meal. That's just nasty. What's wrong with them? Don't they know bugs are gross? Wouldn't they rather have a nice fillet mignon with a baked potato and caesar salad? Maybe a little wine? Some cabernet, perhaps? Apparently not. Seems they'd prefer to gulp down live larva and some cold water out of a rock.
You could never show up at a party chomping on a grasshopper. Unless they're covered in chocolate or something else that drowns out the taste of grasshopper. And even then it's still weird. Get some chocolate-covered raisins, you freak.
(flickr photo froglet eating a worm by her wings; http://www.flickr.com/photos/herwings/2123121403/)