Not Caring If They Smell

Tons of animals don't give a crap if they smell, and why should they: they're animals. They're supposed to not give a crap. Occasionally a dog will clean himself, and cats and rodents clean often, but I'm pretty sure that's less about smell and more about looking pretty (goddamn animal vanity), because they still smell afterwards.
Most humans do care if they smell, and if they don't, they're assholes. The people who don't give crap if they smell are the same people who don't give crap if they cut you off in traffic, accidentally trip you, or plunge the economy in the shitter while giving themselves a raise. It's just common courtesy to make sure you don't smell like a Limburger cheese factory everyday. But if an animal smells bad, they're being a typical animal.
(flickr photo Dirty and Happy by YouDooAllous; http://www.flickr.com/photos/youdooallous/2630128910/)

Leash Walking

This one is exclusively reserved for dogs. Sure they make leashes for other animals, but try walking your cat on one. Just try it. Tell me how you enjoy the medical bills that follow.
Although leashes aren't their favorite things, dogs will and often do walk on them. You can walk a dog on a leash for hours without anyone thinking it's a problem or without your dog getting overly upset about it. But humans will definitely not walk on leashes. The next time you go for a stroll with one of your friends, try putting a leash on them. Just try it. And tell me how you enjoy the medical bills that follow.
There is an important exception, and that's lazy parents (often found at Walmart) who can't seem to keep their miniature human under control without tethering them. It's weird, but hey, at least the kids aren't clicker trained...or are they?
(flickr photo Furry Friday Dog by jessicafm;
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jessicafm/262009249/)

Ear Lifting

Dogs are the main culprit here, although cats and a few other small animals shift their ears around on occasion. But whenever dogs hears something super sweet or super lame, they lift their ears up as if to say, "look what I can do with my ears, humans. Can you do this? No, you can't. Aaawww, that's too fucking bad. Oh wait, you can wiggle your ears a little. Neat party trick, but you can't completely change their angle so as to gain significantly better hearing, can you? No, I didn't think so. Also, how good is your hearing anyway? What's that? I couldn't hear you. Just kidding, I could totally hear you whispering, 'my hearing is really shitty compared to yours, dog, because you have such great hearing, dog. You're the best.' Listen (if you can, with your crappy immobile ears), if you rub my belly and take me to the park, I wont tell anyone about your shitty hearing, okay?"
At least that's what the ear raise says to me, but I may read into my pet's actions too much...nah, I don't. Not at all.
(flickr photo Bat Eared Dog shock by :mrMark:; http://www.flickr.com/photos/what_i_see/147122825/)

Shoving Their Face in a Bowl of Food

When dogs and cats (and a good number of small animals) eat, instead of pulling out the old silverware their grandma gave them and a couple snazzy blue napkins, they just shove their face into a bowl filled with all the same shit, and chomp it down like they're three-time pie eating champions in the Kansas State Fair. I mean, seriously guys, couldn't you use your paws like a civilized creature? It doesn't take that much effort, and it really makes a big difference in how people view you. Do you honestly think I'm ever going to take you to a fancy restaurant with those eating habits? Put you're tuxedo back in the closet, because the answer is no. And you look silly in a tuxedo anyway. It makes your tail look fat.
Next Thanksgiving I'm going to try eating like this as an experiment. My hypothesis is that it takes less than 30 seconds for my Uncle to crack me in the ribcage for being a douche.
(flickr photo Mao is eating by stickwithjosh; http://www.flickr.com/photos/stickwithjosh/2549333638/)